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Archive for March, 2009

My departure from student politics into the corporate world completely changed my perception of my future. It is only now that I am deeply immersed in determining my path in life and career. Once I gave deep thoughts on joining the political world head on and make it my future career. But there was something amiss, something not right. I remembered those words by a Political Secretary when he told me that it is a waste student leaders do not participate in politics after their graduation.

But look how ‘noble’ it is to participate in politics as a youth in the recent UMNO assembly. Now I am definitely rethinking thousand times before even joining any political party. Do I join the party for my lust and desire of power, being a leader with ‘faces of sincerity’ but corrupted in heart? Or participate under the shadows of business networking in securing contracts? If it may be, I would want to fight for things dear to the party, it’s essence, it’s roots, it’s noble cause, serving “agama, bangsa dan negara”.

Whateva it may be, my heartiest congratulations to Dato’ Mustapha Mohamed for the highest votes garnered for Majlis Tertinggi UMNO. You have won our hearts, as previous YDPs which gained the opportunity to have known you personally and listening to our students problem attentively and taking direct actions. We miss you, you were truly like a father. I am sure with someone who is dedicated to serve, the party would be noble in it’s cause.

My mind flashes back to those memories when my grandfather used to siap2 for the annual UMNO general assembly. One typical question from him would be; “cantik tak baju atuk? cantik tak sampin ni?” I remembered that PEKEMBAR file in his room, pekembar means Pertubuhan Kebangsaan Melayu Bersatu which in english means UMNO. I used to watch the tapes where he gave his speech when he was the Selangor Chief Minister, I remembered the book on Adat memasuki istana, those medals in the gallery given by the Sultan and the small keris which I used to play around the house.

I remembered that phrase; “bila besar boleh jadi macam atuk ye.” Nay, I admit I was nakal when I was in high school but what not, deep in myself I was cultivated with this impression of UMNO grandeur since I was young. I know somewhat I wanted to be like him. Getting to see Tan Sris and Dato’ Seris whom are respected in society, that annual Hari Raya open house which brings lots of known people. Alas, I ‘want-ed’ that.

Now distant memories as they are, somehow or rather it’s just as distant as it could be. When I was young I enjoyed the credibility of being one of those “noble” people. I belonged to a society of elites, those people who enjoyed luxury and position. Until one day your friend asks you a question; “mak awak anak angkat kan?”. Cried home at that time asking whether it’s true or not. Alas as I grew up I came to accept that I was nothing more than a commoner, position in memory but virtues in heart. I came to learn that valuble lesson of not depending on your family’s position nor brag on something which others earned such as “wei, taman ni atuk aku punye, tengok la nama pun nama atuk aku” or “tengok la siapa engkau, siapa aku?”.

Allahuakhbar. Allah is Great. Alhamdullilah. When I was about to be lost, Allah brought me back to my path. For if it was my noble blood, my ego would have swollen like a mountain. I’ve learnt to conceal my historical background, I wanted to climb the ladder on my own. I wanted to be in the society where no one saw anything special in me, I felt how it was like to be pushed over, looked down upon, jeered at or even ‘fitnah’ by friends. What’s most memorable to me was phrases like; “you tau sabrie, dia millionaire, dia dato’ tau, you mesti bangga dapat salam dengan dato'” or “siapa kamu datang ke sini tanpa kebenaran saya?”. If it was because of status I am sure hypocritical words would be pointed to me.

Now as I leave all those things behind me and look into the future, I remembered the person I love the most, my parents which made me what I am today. I remembered those days when my parents paksa me read Richard Branson’s biography than reading Doraemon books. Those days when he used to buy me books about Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet and lingering around his library on all those business books. I admit my parents spent a fortune on books.

I just love our mini library where those books really shaped my life. I have always made it a point to learn from others mistakes and never step on the pitfall twice. My mom is wants us to learn so much, I couldn’t remember how many tuitions I had in a day. Yes, education is important, I never loved it, until now. Nonetheless, my dad always wanted me to be an enterpreneur.

I hope I would be one. And that is my aim. But it’s normal in Malay society to be jeered when you tell others you would want o start business. I have always concealed my intentions as it is always pleasurable in our society when someone fails we would respond things like; “tu lah, aku dah cakap dah dia degil tak nak dengar.” or “tu la cita2 tinggi lagi, tengok sekarang dah jatuh rasakan.” Such perceptions till I barred my parents from informing others of my ambitions. Cukuplah sekadar mengatakan pada orang kita nak makan gaji. Lagi baik bagitau orang kita nak keje bende yang tak setimpal dengan degree. Baru orang puas hati.

Other than that I thank my parents for enlightening me with all those knowledge. What would I be without knowledge.

Now arise the question. Whatever I choose to be in life, I ponder on my life. Is it forever? What do I want to accomplish? Do I desire wealth? Do I desire happiness? Or do I desire heaven? Or do I care about my afterlife? Should I live long enough to be so material forgetting the oath I did before birth?

Whatever it may be, I choose submission to Allah. And I am lucky to have a person who loves me dearest, who brings me closer to Allah. Sometimes it is true they say, when you love a woman, you should first love her because of religion. And how lucky I could be to have a potential someone with intellectual knowledge, kindness and loyalty to our Lord. Turning to Allah from all those secular love thoughts truly brings joy and happiness to the heart. Hopefully baby steps would enrich our knowledge on religion and when fate sets it, we shall be our Lord’s loyal vicagerent on Earth and have offsprings with faith in mind.

When it comes to the future, I would really think of none other than one thought;

“Guide us to the straight path. The path of those on whom you have bestowed your Grace, not of those who have earned your anger, nor of those who go astray.” (1:6,7)

Here goes to those I admire and wish to be them, who serve their Lord, Most Gracious, most Merciful; “the examplary Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.), the kindness of all wealthy men; Abdul Rahman Bin Auf, intelligence beyond compare; Ibnu Sina, philosophical beyond the norms; Ibnu Khaldun and Khawarizmi.

May I be among the wealthy righteous and be a man of knowledge to serve none other than Allah s.w.t. Amen.

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