Archive for June, 2006

Spending my last few weeks of holiday at terendak camp of the 17th Royal Malaysian Army Regiment and Za’ba college has changed my life. and it’s true. it ain’t a mere army camp, it changed me.

When we question the hardships we face in life, we tend to regret on those events we consider ‘unlucky’ that have befallen on us. But God is true to his words, “With every difficulty there is relief, verily with every difficuly there is relief.”
Encountering difficulties and obstacles in life brings the best in a person. Getting to feel the wrath of backstabbers, swimming in your tears alone without anyone beside you, knowin who your true friends are, the mistrust others have on you and the accusations laid down upon you by others cant not help me more to change the person i am inside.

I am Sabrie. But internally, I am not him. I was once Sabrie they knew. Now they know not.

Alhamdullilah. What would I be without the true guidance of God. I can not express how much I love every human being and everything I see. Everything has a sign of God. Without him, I would have been arrogant, naive, pushed around, won’t notice the facts of life, uncompassionate and full of hatred.

Principles of life: People will always talk about you no matter what your deeds are and secondly, as a leader people will always hate you. Why you ask? When you make decisions, there will always be those who will disagree with you.

But I ponder upon my own principles of life, my own self principle and values, what does it take to be a good leader? Is it the glamour? Or is it the smell of the room where everyone would stand to the occassion when you enter the room? The luxury it brings? Social status of being part of those higher status officers?
Nay. Those are none but traps to my ego.

My objective and will always be is to always do deeds that will make me be closer to God. To fight the enemy whithin, my ego and to purify myself against all those bad values in order to feel life. I have chosen this budo. And uphold it I will.

As my hols come to an end, and bein entrusted with a group of 23 to make content 800 people in a year and a half, I pray to God, show me the straight path, let me not deviate from the light, you are the Compassionate and Merciful.

Warm welcome to UPM for the 1st semester of the 2007 session.

Regrets for the light.


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The Broken Word Called Love

a simple word yet the meanings are countless.
our deeds never fail to potray our love.
be it to the God Almighty, parents, our kin, friends or be anything we care of.

one cannot help to avoid love as we are human beings. we have feelings. we laugh because oflove. we cry because of love. we sacrifice in thename of love. love is a gift from our Lord. how then are we not to love when we, our very own existance is the result of God’s love?

how would we stop our tears when those who suffer in life is right on our doorstep? thanks to theinternet, it seems we ‘watch’ the hardships of liferight in front of our face.

I can’t.
Tears are said to be a sign of weakness for males. I believe tears shows our sincere feelings atthe right time.

There’s this story of a little girl who has been given to the orphanage because their parents sent heraway. It was learnt her mother divorced and herdad somehow gave her away for ‘unknown reasons’. What touched me most was the absence of love in this little gal’s life. How can such a little gal cope with the truth of knowing her friends have the love of their parents while she does not. It saddens me when I imagine her feelings when others would tellof their parents fondness and care for them. How will she feel?

Forget blowing our trumpet of telling how much our parents give us the luxuries of life. For the fortunate, we get to feel the best of life. Our needs are cared for. We feel the warmth of love. Wec ould even selfishly fight our parents when ourdemands are not met. We demand for more luxuries when our friends have them. Our voices are raised when our parents care more for our well being.

But do not forget.
What happens when one day all of those love upthere is lost? Our needs are not cared for. The warmth of love turns in coldness. No fights with our parents when our demands ain’t met. No voices to raise or even to speak to.When we attempt to kiss and embrace our loved ones but it just becomes like a whisper in the air. Only a whisper.

At that moment. We would pause in life, an crave for love we failed to appreciate.

I bet that little gal felt that way, but it was not appreciation but disappointment. Salute bak kate tabik spring goes to people in life who are resilient in enduring such a life. But are we just to watch such hardships pass with the moment of time? While we enjoy our healthy and delicious meal they are in another realm. A realm which food is a luxury. Even fried plain bihun everyday as their 3 meals is their gratest luxury? One cannot think the atmosphere. I can’t imaginethe tears when those people cry alone in the night. Tears craving for love.

Oh God. How can such insan endure such difficulties…..?
Of course we can help them in many ways. Our finances are our biggest tool if we couldn’t have thetime to care for them physically. Orphanages and welfare centers are everywhere.

It’s up to us to show our love to them.

Feelings as a result of this post:

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i’ve been aching to write down my thoughts on this seminar for weeks! Oh well holidays are for sleeping + hibernating anyway.

After years of nowhere at last Aikikai Malaysia hosts it’s own seminar. At last. The last seminar was somewhere in 2002 if my memories are right. Credits must be given to the IIUM students for their best effort in making this event a reality. It’s been years since your talents shine. During Suzalie Sensei’s era as a student I did still recall the glory of IIUM Aikido. Even Doshu Moriteru Ueshiba came for demonstration. I was 15 by then.

None can deny the feeling of love. “Ai” as in aikido bears meaning of harmony or love. Feelings cant express how much you feel like a family during this seminar. Getting to meet up my present and senior instructors was a great feeling.

Suzalie Sensei with his artistic yet devastating techniques, Shazlee Sensei with his preseverance in executing moves, Raymond Sensei with his wealth of techniques, not to forget Zainuddin Sensei in my opinion extremely fast and in practical terms, deadly. And last but not least, my respects to Tuan Haji Haneef. He made aikido look so easy with his posture and energy. Years of training combined with his ability as Mahaguru of Silat Helang Putih Perkasa made him someone to be looked up upon.

Lastly, it makes you think.
“Unity in diversity”. With so many senseis andtheir own thoughts i cannot wonder but ponder how my aikido has become.

My quest for a better understanding of aikido is never ending yet I wonder my purpose in this art. Is it to achieve the greatness of warriors through subduing their energy or to understand the principles of life itself? Aikido is in no way an art of aggression. One can be great in terms of fighting but being closer to God is not an easy feat. Achieve total spirituality in an essence to understand the principles of life will lead to total understanding of the Aikido. Without understanding the terms of aikido how could one even potray the best of himself? Potraying in this term: their technique.

One could not deny the ability of Soke Gozo Shioda in focused power as a result of aikido understanding. One could not deny the abilities of O Sensei throwing people without effort. It’s proven both grandmasters left their mark: to abandon their ego. True victory in budo is victory in yourself. To pacify your hatred,greed and selfishness in achieving the better person. Without this, it seems impossible to realise your own center, the mechanism of ki, unification of mind and body. If this cannot be achieved, the aikido potrayed is like a coconut without it’s water. Light and of no meaning.

Fortunate I am to have to train with so many instructors all with their own recipe. Sonny Loke Shihan (6th dan now i presume) of the yoshinkan style, Jorge Sensei during my years in Negeri Sembilan matriculation, Suzalie Sensei my teacher who shown me the greatness of aikido, Shazlee Sensei young but full of practicality, Raymond Sensei a well diciplined teacher with obvious creativity in aikido and not to forget! Tee Sensei in UPM who shown me the true value of “ai” in aikido. I was aggressive in my quest for this art but enlightened was I.

“Keep one movement Sabrie”. Tee Sensei’s advice changed my aikido forever. I must admit. Thanks!

Most worth mentioning Tuan Haji Haneef and Zainuddin Senseis. So much have I learnt from them I just can’t list them. My aikido would not be better because of their guidance. Achieving shodan is of course, meaningful but what meaning would it bring if it serves like a dead tree which bears no fruit?

I hope to be of those tree who gives life to other places.

In the end,
I realised my quest is just the beginning. Getting to know my inner self and to purify myself in order to be closer to Allah has made aikido my most powerful tool in achieving this. I cannot mention how much fortunate I am to my father for taking the effort to persuade me during my younger years to take up this art. So simple! Yet so hard. Yet so beautiful. My expressions of life.

Dojo! Here I come!

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oh yes. the title defines everything I guess.

there’s this saying where you determine your fate but fate runs it’s course. Well, sometimes your results potray your effort in a simple way.


Yes, upm xam results are finally out. After the long painful, doubtful wait it’s over. This time my pointer obeys the law of gravity.

Being too involved in all those college errands and club activities sure gave me experience, lots. The economists call it opportunity cost. Blame it on my laziness. I did have time everyday at nite and dawn. Havin “more time meant more effort” but I chose the other way round heheh.

Like da big Ah Seng always reminded me of how diciplined I am to this “personal timetable”.

Muhasabah diri time for me. Gotta change all those bad attitudes during this short holidays and hope it’s for da better.

For this eager to know your marks, logon to http://www.psp.upm.edu.my
Be sure to login and check your current test results. if it’s there. Embrace your fears 🙂

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My 1st Blog

what’s this? all i did was follow da instructions and i’m still lost. blogspot. my first blog. shoutin out to the world all ya need to know bout my life in my beloved university.

the so called ‘universiti pertanian’. it’s universiti putra malaysia.

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